In between dodging blaster fire, the sizzling clash of lightsabers, and stress-rattling dogfights, the denizens of the Star Wars universe need to blow the steam out of their compressors every once in a while. Be it the Mos Eisley cantina, Maz Kanata’s castle, the Outlander Club or Jabba’s joint, the galaxy seems to be pouring with opportunity.
Yet for every serving of blue milk, you need a bar buddy to clink glasses with. Out of all of the aliens, pirates, scum and villainy spanning the far-reaching systems, who would you dream of bellying up alongside? Here are some standouts...
1. Praster Ommlen
Sometimes tipping back liquid refreshment bodes well with waxing philosophical. Although in his former life this alien ran guns, he now walks a straighter line by practicing an Ithorian sect of worship and hanging at Maz’s castle. Who better to chat with about interplanetary ideologies than Praster? Buy him a couple, and he might even offer up some colorful gunrunning tales. Remember he may be rocking a hammerhead, but Praster is actually Ottegan, not Ithorian.
2. The Ubdurian Brothers
We have no knowledge of trivia night being on the schedule at Maz’s castle. Looking for something to do besides moving a glass to and from the lips? Slide up to the table next to Prashee and Cratinus, a pair of identical Ubdurian brothers, for a friendly game or gamble. With those perpetual smiles on their faces, they might just dish out a few punchlines or Ubdurian limericks in the process. They’ll help you pass the time, and soon you may be grinning yourself. Just be sure to keep one eye peeled for a potential scam.
3. Ponda Baba
After watching Ponda bully Luke Skywalker at the Mos Eisley cantina in A New Hope, we can easily attest the Aqualish can’t quite hold his libations. But having some muscle like Ponda Baba on your side might not be such a bad thing. He’s likely a better shot than Greedo, and Ponda can give you the inside scoop on what it’s like bouncing around the galaxy with Dr. Evazan. Sure, too much space sauce may result in a cosmic quarrel. At least after Obi-Wan slices Ponda’s arm, you won’t have to worry about the thug two-fisting drinks anymore.
4. Obi-Wan Kenobi
How much cooler can you get than toasting toddies with a Jedi? Honor and justice may cover Kenobi like a floor-length robe, but he isn’t above kicking back with drink in hand at a club or cantina, no matter how rough and tumble it may be. As mentioned earlier, Obi-Wan has no problem keeping bar baddies at bay. And when someone comes shilling death sticks, Kenobi’s on the case and shoos them away.
5. R2-D2
The bash on Jabba’s sail barge in Return of the Jedi looks to be quite the soiree high above the Tatooine sands. You can see Max Rebo jamming on the keys and even the most intimidating heads bobbing to the beat. Even Bossk looks happy in the background. Kudos to Jabba for knowing how to celebrate. But it just takes a chain-wielding princess in a metal bikini to put the kibosh on the host with the most. Before the party explodes, literally, we see R2-D2 donning the most festive bling of his cinematic career. Artoo’s golden multi-tiered beverage tray -- it holds as many as seven glasses -- takes this fete to legendary heights. Not only does the astromech prove vital riding shotgun when saving the galaxy, it serves well to keep him close by during an epic blowout.
Jon Waterhouse is an award-winning journalist, radio show host, and performer whose byline has appeared in a variety of print and online publications including Esquire, BlackBook, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, and on MTV.com. He helms the geek travel blog NerdsOnHoliday.com.
