The Star Wars films aren’t lacking in the humor department. Several characters get one-liners and snappy remarks — it’s even implied for characters like Chewbacca and R2-D2 who can’t verbalize their emotions in words we understand. A fair amount of insults are sprinkled through the saga, too. For a droid programmed for etiquette and protocol, C-3PO in particular sure knows how to level taunts and rude remarks towards his friends. These are a handful of his best insults.
- “Don’t call me a mindless philosopher, you overweight glob of grease!”
R2-D2 is on the receiving end of several of C-3PO’s biting comments. Artoo tolerates his golden friend and though we can’t understand R2-D2’s exact replies, it sounds like he gives at least as good as he gets. In this case, Threepio is yelling at Artoo about getting into the escape pod on the Tantive IV.
- “After all, he’s only a Wookiee.”
C-3PO is unintentionally rude sometimes. In The Empire Strikes Back, he makes excuses for Chewbacca’s aggressive behavior towards Lando by saying “he’s only a Wookiee.” The comment seems to insinuate Wookiees are quick to anger. I guess Threepio’s not entirely wrong.
- “I can’t abide these Jawas. Disgusting creatures.”
How much time has C-3PO actually spent around Jawas? He wasn’t in their possession very long, but it was apparently long enough for him to form a negative opinion of the scavengers and to share said opinion upon seeing Jawas in Mos Eisley.
- “You’ll be malfunctioning within a day, you nearsighted scrap pile.”
When R2-D2 tries to tell C-3PO about his mission to find Obi-Wan Kenobi in A New Hope, Threepio’s response is to call him names. Doesn’t he ever trust his astromech friend? All Artoo needs is a little support and encouragement, not a kick in the pants.
- “Wait. Oh my! What have you done. I’m backwards. You flea-bitten furball! Only an overgrown mop-head like you would be stupid enough to…”
Considering that C-3PO owes Chewbacca for finding him and rescuing him from Ugnaughts and being permanently disassembled, you’d think he would show some gratitude. But no, after Chewbacca goes through all the trouble of putting him back together, all Threepio can do is be snippy.
- “Don’t worry about Master Luke. I’m sure he’ll be all right. He’s quite clever, you know… for a human being.”
Hey! What are you trying to say about humans, C-3PO?
Which of Threepio’s zingers do you like the best? Let us know in the comments.